No more pictures for now

Arrggh.. I just wrote a fairly lengthy post only to have it deleted accidentally!!

Sigh.. isn't there an auto save function?

Suffice to say that my post was to ask if anyone knew how I can post pictures onto my blog. Eversince I started using the Mac Mini to access this blog, the "post picture" function and icon has disappeared, together with all the other formatting and font adjustment icons! Help.. it feels terrible to not be able to post pictures of my cute second born...

Life these past three weeks (ie still in confinement) has been a repeated series of [nursing, feeding myself, playing with first born, pumping (twice a day)] X [7 times]. I would love to go visit the park again for some fresh air. Feels very boring to be confined to the home for so long (save for the compulsory visits to the gynae and pedaetrician.

I have dreams of the many things I wish to accomplish as a mummy of two. Shall post my thoughts on that another day. Gotta go now, duty calls for the mummy.

PPD

I did think that I would be able to cope better with post partum symptoms since this is my second child afterall. Well, in a sense, yes, I am coping better in that I know what to expect. My body also feels like it has recovered faster post delivery compared to the first time when I delivered En. However, I still have to go through the usual "pains" post delivery.

Wanting to breastfeed the little one totally means that I once again experienced engorgement when the milk came in, followed by a series of painful massages to relive it. I now have blocked milk ducts which I am still trying to unblock through regular massage and pumping. Its amazing how God "equips" and strengthens the mother to go through this difficult period of establishing a breastfeeding routine. I had to pump after every milk feed for the first week, which works out to a total of 8 to 9 milk feeds to Yi, followed by massage and pumping. Pure, uninterrupted sleep was a rare commodity during this time. Currently, I only pump a few times a day and I am slowly finding some time to blog, and check email.

Then, there are the stiff finger joints which I am having. Each morning, I wake up to very stiff fingers. I just hope and pray its not arthiritis! My gynae promised it would go away in a month's time. I really hope so. In any case, I am now more emphathtic towards the elderly and those suffering from arthiritis.

Thankfully, my first child, En, haws been kept quite busy and does not appear to miss mummy's lack of time spent with him. My sister in law and her husband, my parents, my MIL and husband have all been taking turns to bring him out or spend time with him. Hopefully, the nursing settles into a routine, ducts become unblocked so that I can spend more time with En, especially since I find that he is more attention-seeking now that Yi is born. He needs to be disciplined and also loved, which means some daily time with En, playing, reading books, doing crafts etc.

I meant to blog about post partum depression, which I felt the onset of two days back. However, as I blog now, I thank God that He has in this short two day period lifted my spirits through His word and His grace to me.

I would just like to share the lyrics of this very uplifting song which encouraged me today:

Lord, I'm Grateful (Stuart Townend)

Lord, I’m grateful
Amazed at what You’ve done
My finest efforts are filthy rags
But I’m made righteous
By trusting in the Son
I have God’s riches at Christ’s expense!

‘Cause it’s grace!
There’s nothing I can do
To make You love me more,
To make You love me less than You do
And by faith
I’m standing on this Stone
Of Christ and Christ alone
Your righteousness is all that I need
‘Cause it’s grace!

Called and chosen
When I was far away
You brought me into Your family
Free, forgiven
My guilt is washed away
Your loving kindness is life to me

Freely given
But bought with priceless blood
My life was ransomed at Calvary
There my Jesus
Gave everything He could
That I might live for eternity

Grace loves the sinner
Loves all I am and all I’ll ever be
Makes me a winner
Whatever lies the devil throws at me

A Second Son is Born

Yi was born on 27 July 2009, morning of 1.40 am.

Welcome to the world! (and the "theological" side of me says: to the big, bad fallen world!). It feels funny having a second son around in the family. Its only been less than a week since we brought Yi home from the hospital. En has been very excited about "Di Di" or "Baby". He keeps wanting to see Di Di in the morning, touch him, and we prompt him to tell Di Di that En En loves Di Di etc. (The brainwashing works! :P) But, we do think En has a genuine love for Di Di. He will be ever so gentle with Di Di when touching him or when we tell En to keep his volume down when near Di Di, we can see that he tries.

As for me, I have been nursing Di Di most of the time, since I am on total breastfeeding. En En seems so large to me now! I think the reduced interaction time with En contributes to this size and imaging error in my eyes! En also seems like a Kor Kor now, which in fact he is. He seems older and he is able to listen and respond to us more as a toddler than a baby. Of course, what I say seems obvious, but I am still adjusting to it cos it was only last week that En was still the only child and hence the "baby" of the family!

I pray En En loves Di Di and will take care of him always. I hope and also pray that En will adapt to having Di Di around, and that mummy will soon settle into a daily routine to be able to spend time with both her lovely, God-given boys! What a joy they are to us!